You'd Better Bloody Believe It!
What's it all about? With few exceptions, this new book contains previously unpublished stories about real people as well as stories from many of the characters encountered by the authors over the last 50 years. It's a record of the Aussie way of life. It's all true (well, nearly all!) and you are guaranteed to find a few laughs; maybe you'll shed a tear. There are poems about mateship and the Aussie spirit and you'll meet Br Paul Murphy and learn something about his work with street kids.
Early sales have already covered costs; from now on all proceeds will go direct to the Marist Brothers for the benefit of the Kuya Center for Street Children in Manila.
Extracts from the book
Every Friday afternoon, Les Clyne would leave his office in Texas and
stroll down town and Allen Jones would see him and ask him,
"Where are you off to, Les?"
"I'm going to the butcher shop."
"What for, Les?"
"I'm going to buy a sheep's head and get them to leave the eyes in so as to see me over the weekend."
An old stockman was severely injured outside Winton and
went to the doctor to be patched up.
"Never mind the anaesthetic," he said. "I don’t feel pain."
"Have you ever felt pain?"
"Tell me about it."
"The first time was when I was trapping dingoes near Eromanga. I was squatting over a trap when it went off and caught me by the balls."
"Yes," says the quack wincing. "I can understand that would have been painful."
"And the second time?"
"That's when the slack in the chain took up!"
An attractive German backpacker named Lisa was working with boss
drover Bill Little on the LNP Cattle Drive in 2010. At Julia Creek
there was a young Englishman, a really up-market Pom, working for the
contractor at the dip. Anyway, the two took a liking to each other and
ended up in the Pom's swag and that led the cook, Ralph O'Dea, to observe,
"It wasn't all that long ago they were shootin' 'em now they're rootin' 'em!"
Old man Rissmann was known to be tight, very tight. He broke his arm and the word was that he did it falling out of a wilga tree. What was he doing up there? Picking bits of wool out of a willy-wagtail’s nest to top up his woolclip!
When the slack in the chain took up!. - Cartoonist: Harry Bruce
Dressed appropriately, Peter turned out to be the special attraction at the annual street parade in Clermont. Charged with a few sherbets, he was easily persuaded to don a cape, ascend to the second storey balcony of the Grand Hotel and with the cry, "Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s MIGHTY MOUSE!" he swan-dived into space as the parade passed by.
Mighty Mouse. - Cartoonist: Harry Bruce
What they are saying
"This book takes readers back to another time and place … the joyous recollection of what has been." Hugh Lunn, St Lucia.
"Well done. Great stories of true Aussie characters, their humour, mateship and fondness for 'Taking the Mickey'. A wonderfully entertaining book." Judy Ross, Belmont.
"Bugger you Gilly! I'm supposed to be planting spuds, fertilising the lawn and I'm also trying to find time to go down town and help sell some Legacy Badges. The bloody book is the problem; it won't stay down - and you'd better bloody believe it!" Warwick Butler, Roma.
"Lloyd hasn't stopped laughing since we got it!" Bobbie Harms, Kingsthorpe.
"My father-in-law, Gordon Weber, has read all your books. We give him a copy of the latest one for Christmas then have to drag it out of his hands so he can have his Christmas dinner." Trish Weber, Mt Tyson.
"That bloody book got me in strife with my wife. Sue was asleep while I was reading in bed and the third time my laughing woke her up she burst out, 'Aw give it a rest, Virgil; it can't be that funny!'" Virgil Kenny, Rockhampton.
"Readers will enjoy reading about the unique character of outback Australians who have forged our Aussie spirit and sense of humour which, unfortunately, is fading away as we embrace social change and multiculturalism." Alex Lubanski, Casino
"It would be hard to find a more worthy cause, just as it would be hard to find a happier, funnier collection of Australiana." Terry Oberg, Catholic Leader, Brisbane.
"I just had to ring to tell you that Tom and I both loved it; this type of humour is not around anymore." Jenell Kennedy, Tallebudgera.
"I enjoyed this book – probably the best yet!" Eileen Emery, Wallumbilla.
"Your best read yet; keep it up!" John Douglas, Buderim.
"I enjoyed your new book so much I have decided to ask you to send copies to my daughter in Ilfracombe, to Mollie Tiernan at Gunnedah and to my other daughter at Jamboree Heights. Cheque enclosed. Best wishes for bumper sales for such a good cause." Mrs Pat Murray, Hughenden.
"The book arrived last week and I've read it three times already. Not the sort of book to give to your grandkids but a bloody good read." Keith McEwan, Alice Springs.
"I finally got around to reading the book and bloody near cacked meself - read the lot in one hit; couldn't put it down." Neil Donaldson, Kenmore.
"A most enjoyable read!!!" Mick Moloney, Sunnybank.
"I don't read books but I read this one and I'm going to read it again. It's really funny and there are lots of great stories. You'll sell thousands!" Peter Poteri, Bribie Island.
A Review by Terry Oberg
Early in Ken Kesey’s great novel, ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST, the narrator, an indigenous American observes the difference between fake laughter and the real thing. Much of modern life exploits the former. Some of it rejoices in the latter, none more so than this latest work from two bush scallywags. The two Johns have spent their lives roaming western Queensland. I guess along the way they must have done some work, but much of their time has, obviously, been spent collecting stories. This is the sixth book in the Bloody! series. Each is packed with tales of their lives as jackaroos and stock and station agents. Their anecdotes keep coming.
In one typical chapter, ROBBO’S STORIES, twenty pages contain the same number of stories. The two of them assure us they are all true (well nearly all). They have distinctively Australian settings: country races, outback pubs, homesteads and stockyards. They feature unique Aussie personalities; bookies, smart alecs, drovers, priests and good sorts.
Their yarns are related to the lingo of the bush. Both might just as well be talking to their audience over a beer in the North Star or the Imperial or the Railway or any of the myriad of watering holes graced by the presence of Gilly and Robbo.The pages of a book can do little to destroy the intimacy that is created by their use of vernacular, slang, emotion and vulgarity, with not too much of the last mentioned; sufficient to titillate, not enough to offend. Some Aussie flavoured poems complement the prose. Les Murray and Bruce Dawe won't feel threatened, but the entertainment value of the verse is high and it adds significantly to any empathetic explanation of what it means to be Australian.
The final section is titled, "Meet Murph". Brother Paul Murphy is an Australian Marist Brother who is working with street kids in Manila. The proceeds of the sales of this collection of outback tales will go to help him carry on his wonderful work. It would be hard to find a more worthy cause, just as it would be hard to find a happier, funnier collection of Australiana.
Terry Oberg, Catholic Leader, Brisbane.
29th August 2011.